I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
