Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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