just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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