hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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