what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
