you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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