I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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