Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
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