Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i just made my gag reflex go away.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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