i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
