they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
