Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
