**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
