I've blown a few things in my day
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
He kissed a someone with a penis
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
