lets start a swedish sibling band together
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
