then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
