i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
