I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Randomize
