Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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