??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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