Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to summon your inner elephant
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize