yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
