It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
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Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
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It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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