I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Randomize
