Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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