I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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