there were more penises there than on chat roulette
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
