Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
