Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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