dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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