I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
