Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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