My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize