I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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