You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
