I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize