whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Verdict: uncircumcised.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
