Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
