YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back