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• (850): View more from Florida

  I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.

  Fav 11 1158 1927

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you

  Fav 21 6915 1702

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.

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• 

  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up

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• (925): View more from California

  I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again

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• (510): View more from California

  God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot

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