Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me http://tfl.nu/i2q6
  Replies (41) Good night (3132) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo. http://tfl.nu/y8zo
  Replies (21) Good night (636) Bad night (3764)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone http://tfl.nu/mp6q
  Replies (9) Good night (656) Bad night (3453)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen http://tfl.nu/yx2l
  Replies (18) Good night (960) Bad night (4019)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me. http://tfl.nu/9j20
  Replies (58) Good night (3918) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe http://tfl.nu/zrqw
  Replies (7) Good night (4408) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried http://tfl.nu/s324
  Replies (11) Good night (1371) Bad night (1550)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant. http://tfl.nu/ofzk
  Replies (24) Good night (2041) Bad night (3964)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying. http://tfl.nu/kt03
  Replies (9) Good night (790) Bad night (2008)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed http://tfl.nu/2i1h
  Replies (2) Good night (1241) Bad night (457)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt? http://tfl.nu/w4he
  Replies (15) Good night (3216) Bad night (584)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs. http://tfl.nu/5p7v
  Replies (7) Good night (1333) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all. http://tfl.nu/lyhc
  Replies (3) Good night (1751) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out http://tfl.nu/4dk0
  Replies (13) Good night (627) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo http://tfl.nu/nylc
  Replies (1) Good night (558) Bad night (155)

Randomize