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• (253): View more from Washington

  oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.

  (1-253): View more from Washington

  I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  quadriplegic porn is always funny

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  no. no its not

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you

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• (805): View more from California

  Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.

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• (347): View more from New York

  you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder

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• (817): View more from Texas

  i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to

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