Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
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Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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