There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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