i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize