Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.