Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
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Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
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I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.