Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Already got asked if we're dating

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(313): Already got asked if we're dating http://tfl.nu/nrdc

Replies (3) Good night (1113) Bad night (1774)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.

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(832): I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots" (832): On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep. http://tfl.nu/g6me

Replies (16) Good night (3054) Bad night (606)
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(806): View more from Texas

Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.

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(806): Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one. http://tfl.nu/nt34

Replies (4) Good night (3052) Bad night (892)
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(614): View more from Ohio

And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.

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(614): And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts. http://tfl.nu/c0eu

Replies (5) Good night (1008) Bad night (2373)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex

(773): View more from Illinois

SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?

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(617): So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex (773): SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard? http://tfl.nu/5vnv

Replies (20) Good night (3417) Bad night (756)
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(517): View more from Michigan

I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night

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(517): I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night http://tfl.nu/lvdh

Replies (5) Good night (1520) Bad night (584)
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(562): View more from California

He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.

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(562): He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break. http://tfl.nu/ad1k

Replies (16) Good night (2307) Bad night (643)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.

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(250): Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza. http://tfl.nu/3z2i

Replies (9) Good night (1946) Bad night (730)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.

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(608): Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple. http://tfl.nu/2rha

Replies (10) Good night (550) Bad night (2733)
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(905): View more from Ontario

When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?

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(905): When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog? http://tfl.nu/u47g

Replies (7) Good night (516) Bad night (1360)
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(512): View more from Texas

Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.

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(512): Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food. http://tfl.nu/gt6w

Replies (11) Good night (2674) Bad night (438)
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(425): View more from Washington

So that wine I told you about is vile...

(360): View more from Washington

That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?

(425): View more from Washington

Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.

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(425): So that wine I told you about is vile... (360): That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it? (425): Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something. http://tfl.nu/ggqv

Replies (4) Good night (1118) Bad night (545)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.

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(401): she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack. http://tfl.nu/1xr0

Replies (2) Good night (413) Bad night (932)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.

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(720): Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up. http://tfl.nu/96a6

Replies (8) Good night (1467) Bad night (516)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences

(919): View more from North Carolina

great clearly means different things to us

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(919): The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories (1-919): Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences (919): great clearly means different things to us http://tfl.nu/ha8x

Replies (2) Good night (708) Bad night (252)

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