grinding to god bless the USA? really?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats