Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.