How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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