omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
