can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
