how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
