We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
