i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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