think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
