I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
