When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
