It was confusing and full of hummus
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
