I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
